New Journal!

  

I bought a new journal last week! It's absolutely beautiful. The minute I saw it I knew I had to have it. My old moleskine is almost out of pages, and I have another journal that I keep for strictly writing/diary entries. I needed a knew one to use for both writing, sketches, and pictures and this was the winner. It's from the brand Fawnsberg, but looking at their website, it doesn't seem that they list their journals. I just happened upon this in a local bookstore and fell in love!

I also recently picked up a gardening magazine to cut out from, so I have a gigantic pile of flower pictures to eventually paste into this thing. I'm pacing myself for now - I have so much pent up journaling energy that if I'm not careful, I'll use up this entire journal in a week! 

I've been following a lot of art journal instagrams lately to really get inspired to do these again. I really missed it. There's just something so satisfying about it! And then being able to go back to your old journals in the future and see everything you did and get nostalgic - it's one of my favorite feelings. 

I've also been going a little stationery crazy since getting back into journaling. I can't stop drooling over fancy pens and washi tape, I honestly need someone to take my wallet from me. Expect more of these from me in the future, they're so fun to do and even more fun to share! 

July, July

July 4th is Independence Day for America, a day often celebrated with fireworks and barbecues. I don't usually celebrate July 4th for my own reasons, but I couldn't pass up a chance to see some fireworks this year. I went to Coney Island with my best friend, and we sat on the beach and enjoyed some beautiful fireworks and dollar churros that were a little stale but still pretty alright. It was a lovely and fun night, and I highly enjoyed myself. I also managed to get a few nice pictures of fireworks. Who hasn't seen those though, right?

Of course, it seems a few people in my neighborhood had some leftover fireworks, as for the past few days I've still heard/seen a few going off in the night. Fun to look at, but not fun while I'm trying to sleep. It seems to have waned, though, and hopefully they're running out by now!

Wandering

Lately work has been rather crazy, so I haven't had much time to pay attention to my little blog, sadly. I work in real estate, and the market explodes during the summer months, especially in New York. Fortunately, it keeps me busy and unable to dwell on very much negative things.

I still often feel like I'm just wandering around this city without any real purpose. I've never much felt like I had a purpose, to be perfectly honest. I've no idea what I wish to do with my life, and even though I'm young, I often can't help but feel stressed out about not knowing. Maybe that's the perfectionist in me?

I can't say I'm 100% happy yet, but I hope soon I will be there.

In the meantime, I've been collecting my empty products to make a post about, as I feel there's something terribly satisfactory in using up a product in its entirety. I love seeing other people's 'empties,' and I also feel a little more confident that their review of the product is more genuine than if they only used it a few times. Not to say they're lying, but that sometimes a product can end up not working out halfway through, and when the product is completely gone you have no misconceptions about your feelings for it. So, I've been collecting some things and I will hopefully have an amount that I'm happy enough with soon.

See you next time :)

On A Day Off

I had a day off from work and although I didn't go anywhere, I enjoyed myself immensely.

I'm very much an introvert, and almost always have been. I enjoy having some alone time for myself, and feel refreshed and recharged after having spent some time doing things I love by myself. Many people are led to believe introverts are shy and quiet and hate being around people - which isn't necessarily the case. It just means that we tend to feel at our best and can recharge when we are alone. Extroverts, conversely, get their energy from being around people. There is a spectrum to the introvert-extrovert, as there is a spectrum with many things, but I won't go into that right now. 

What I'm trying to say, of course, is that I spent my day mostly alone and loved it. I read a few short stories, had some rosehip tea and apples (and I cut my finger cutting the apples - not terribly, but I will remember to be more careful), cuddled with the cats, and took some pictures. It may not sound like much, but I thoroughly loved my day.

I will end this little diary entry here, and return to my reading - but first, I will leave a poem that I particularly love, and that I find repeats itself in my head often:

I heard the old, old men say
'Everything alters,
And one by one we drop away.'
They had hands like claws, and their knees
Were twisted like the old thorn trees
By the waters.
I heard the old, old men say
'All that's beautiful drifts away
Like the waters.'

-"The Old Men Admiring Themselves In The Water," William Butler Yeats

A Day at the Fair

Today was my day off, and I was relaxing and enjoying it when my friend called me to come to a street fair in the neighborhood I work in. So, I threw on some clothes, took the subway and hung around for a few hours and had some fun!

It was almost unbearably hot today, and a little humid. But the fair was very lovely and fun regardless of the heat. I enjoyed looking at all the little booths and smelling the food as we walked by. I tried a few things here and there, but mostly enjoyed walking around and petting stranger's dogs.

It was a bit of a nostalgic day, too. My hometown holds a little fair every year around November that my dad used to take me to when I was younger. We haven't gone the past few years, and it's something that I really actually miss. I don't spend a lot of personal time with my dad as we aren't as close as I am with my mom, though we still love each other very much. Today, I missed being younger and spending time with my dad at a tiny little fair in a tiny little town. 

Despite the memories, I tried to make newer ones and enjoy myself for that day.

I did stop at a little crystal/gem booth, where an old man was selling gorgeous crystals and crystal jewelry. I bought a few that caught my eye. They were the only things I bought, but I didn't want to buy too much, as I have nowhere to really put anything right now.

Aren't they lovely? 

Picture Day Diary

I felt very alone when I first moved to New York. Even though I moved with my best friend and another friend of mine, I still felt...rather lonely. I lived off of saved money for a bit, just getting used to such a big change - going from a small town to an enormous metropolis was very daunting! My friends got jobs rather quickly, and it took me a while to find one. I focused so much on school back home that I had so little experience, something employers in New York find undesirable.

So, yes, I felt quite lonely at first. My friends worked almost constantly while I watched our cat. I got to go out every now and then, usually to a movie, but mostly my outside interaction was just me walking around my neighborhood. It's a bit ugly, I must say - there are a lot of ugly buildings and empty lots and rusty fences. Our little avenue felt very lacking of something, and as spring rolled around I realized what that was - trees. I was so used to seeing an abundance of trees and other nature back home that I almost took it for granted. I miss trees outside of my window. 

Recently, however, I snagged a job. While I was very apprehensive about a job, as I know many people hate their jobs and it drains them, I ended up really enjoying mine.

Everyone that works there is so nice and approachable. They welcomed me quite easily, and I fit in very quickly. It felt really great to actually begin to make new friends, something that was also contributing to my loneliness. I'd never had that many friends back home to begin with, but I felt like I wouldn't make any new friends in New York. My job has opened up a lot for me, and is slowly washing away that loneliness. I can feel myself opening up again, becoming more outgoing and adventurous. It's doing wonders for me, and I'm also finally making enough money for both rent and extra pocket money that I can spend on things I want/need. I especially can't wait to splurge on some new makeup!

I feel like I'm becoming part of some small community and enjoying myself once again. For someone who's struggled(ing) with depression and anxiety, this is pretty huge for me. I was so afraid of rejection that I failed to really put myself out there. Now that I have, and I'm seeing the results of it, I'm so happy that I did. 

Now, if only I can stop being so anxious about school...

Journaling Pt. 2

I've been keeping up with my journal a bit still, doing a few doodles and gluing letters I get from home into it. That particular letter was from my brother & sister-in-law, and my one year old nephew scribbled on it for me. I miss him.

I also found my old movie ticket stash and starting gluing those willy-nilly onto the pages (Harry Potter!! I never want to lose those tickets. 2010 feels like ages ago now). 

Just a few pages I've finished, I'm still doing a few doodles and whatnot. It's almost full, and I think I'll go out soon and buy a new journal to fill up. I need to get my hands on some magazines and clip some pictures out; I find collaging and filling up the white spaces with words to be so relaxing. 

Once I have more pages to show again I'll put those up too! :)

Journaling

Some people don't often think to keep journals. Or, maybe, they're intrigued by the idea but never pursue any actual journaling for themselves, as they find the task too daunting or have no idea where to start. I admit I still have trouble keeping up with any sort of journal or diary, due to my perfectionist nature. If it doesn't look right, I tend to put it aside and hope it goes away forever.

Recently I've picked my old, unfinished journal back up and decided to have a go at it again. I bought this moleskine probably five years ago, started to use it as a sketchbook, then let it collect dust in a drawer for a few years. I finally brushed it off and decided to use it for sketches again, but also clippings, findings, tickets, odd thoughts, pictures, anything! And it's been teaching me how to not be so nitpicky about what I create. 

And, more than that, I love the feeling of completing something. I'm more than halfway through with filling this journal up, and I'm holding off on buying a new one until this one is done. 

I have trouble keeping up with things and have a sort of "routine," I suppose. I also don't believe I've ever finished a journal or sketchbook in my life! And yet, I get such satisfaction when I see photos of filled up journals and diaries, mounds of completed sketchbooks, and I longingly wish for a pile of my own. But, that won't happen unless I do it.

It's also a great place for me to try and get back into writing and drawing regularly. I've severely neglected both through the years I've been at college (despite my being an English major, which is the only writing practice I get any more). I long to do some writing for myself again, and to draw and actually feel proud of what I produced instead of cringe at the jagged lines.

It's also very, very relaxing. 

Do any of you keep journals or diaries or sketchbooks? Do you ever feel inspired to?